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Difficulty in leaving abusive relationships

A local advocacy group that addresses domestic violence wants to change the social viewpoint to focus on the abuser.   Help of Door County Executive Director Milly Gonzales says too many people wonder why victims have a difficult time leaving abusive relationships, rather than why doesn’t the abuser stop his or her behavior.  She says the most dangerous time for victims is at the time they leave the relationship.



Gonzales notes that domestic abuse is about power and control.  When abusers lose control they tend to lash out to deter the loss of power.  In 98.3 percent of the cases of domestic violence, the abuser controls the finances in the home.  Gonzales adds that affordable housing, child care, and employment challenges due to the pandemic are reasons people choose to stay or return to dangerous relationships.  Help of Door County has resources to devise a safety plan for victims as they make difficult decisions surrounding their family.  You can find more information on Help of Door County services at        

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