As I sit down to write this article, we are surrounded by the headlines and responses to the recent violent events that have immersed our country in fear, anxiety, suspicion, and even hate. It is hard to know what to feel when the headlines of a violent act shake us as we are still reeling from the previous ones. There are many questions and speculations, yet none of this will bring us peace. Even in the application of our laws and punishments, which will be viewed as either too extreme or not extreme enough, we will find consolation. Violence begets violence. There is no path by which we can hate our way out of hate.
Discord has been a part of the human experience as long as two human beings have had to exist alongside each other. It rests within every relationship, marriage, and culture. The question is not how to eliminate discord, but rather how to engage in discord to sustain and strengthen our relationships, marriages, and culture.
As flawed humans, and yes, we are all flawed to one extent or another, we seek external solutions to our internal struggles. We attempt to control things that are out of our control, we try to manipulate realities that don’t align with our desires. We lash outward when the real struggle rests within us. It brings to mind a parable from the Cherokee Nation.
A young boy came to his grandfather, filled with anger at another boy who had dome him an injustice.
The old Grandfather said to his Grandson, “Let me tell you a story. I too at times, have felt a great hate for those that have taken so much, with no sorrow for what they do. But hate wears you down, and hate does not hurt your enemy, hate is like taking a poison and wishing your enemy would die. I have struggled with those feelings many times.
It is as if there are two wolves inside me; one wolf is good and does no harm. He lives in harmony with all around him and does not take offence when no offence was intended. He will only fight when it is right to do so, and in the right way. But the other wolf is full of anger. The littlest thing will set him into a fit of temper.
He fights everyone, all the time, for no reason. He cannot think because his anger and hate are so great. It is helpless anger, because his anger will change nothing. Sometimes it is hard to live with these two wolves inside me, because both wolves try to dominate my spirit.”
The boy looked intently into his Grandfather’s eyes and asked, “Which wolf will win?”
The Grandfather smiled and said, “The one I feed.”
Just as with any issues in our world, it can be very easy to get spun up on tings we have no control over. The only thing we can control is ourselves. We can and should influence those around us in such a way that we are a source of healing, not destruction. Our journey to a place of civility will be wrought with those cynics who have already given up. For the sake of our future generations, we must commit to a better path than the one we are watching unfold in front of us. Every long journey begins with the first step. Every movement begins with a single voice. Let our voices not be those of reactionary anger and retribution, but rather those of steadfast temperance, and courage.
