As we step into the new year, many of us will be making the traditional “New Year’s resolutions.” Although there is nothing wrong with this tradition, it is important to set yourself up for success rather than failure in such endeavors, as it is estimated that 80% of New Year’s resolutions fail within the first few months. Here are a few thoughts from someone who has failed as many times as he has succeeded.
The first key step in successful goal-setting is to give it meaning. There are two types of motivation in our lives: extrinsic and intrinsic. An example of a common goal based in extrinsic motivation is weight loss for the purpose of appearance. A better approach is to pursue such a goal with the intrinsic motivator of being overall healthier and enjoying a longer life with our loved ones. The difference lies in the personal value you assign to a given goal. Focusing on our personal values as they relate to our goals is what creates sustainability during those moments when you are tempted to give up. Just as with any other important part of our life’s journey, we must know our “why.” Being able to reflect on the “why” behind your goal, and how that goal is directly related to your values, allows you to draw from a deeper place of perseverance that would otherwise be a fleeting urge or temporary novelty.
The next step is just that: establishing realistic and achievable steps toward your goal. If you were to put up a ladder in an effort to do some sort of work, but that ladder only had the first and last rung, you would be stranded on the ground. Don’t get too caught up in the ultimate goal—the highest rung—at the start of your journey. Focus on the first rung, and when you have cleared that goal, celebrate it, then move on to the next rung or subgoal on your journey.
Another great component of goal-setting is sharing your goals. This accomplishes two things: it allows others into your journey to celebrate the wins and support you through the setbacks, and it adds a component of accountability. Many times, I have resisted a morning run, only to be motivated by the fact that I told someone else I would be out on the trail in the morning. Joining fitness apps as a group can also have this same positive effect.
The final consideration in setting goals is accepting the real possibility that you will fail—and that is absolutely all right, so long as you “fail forward.” This means that when you fall short of your goal, you don’t give up, surrender, or spiral into a negative mental state. You acknowledge the setback, take inventory of what you have learned from it, and step forward armed with this new knowledge. By doing so, you don’t return to your point of origination, but rather to a new place where you can apply what you’ve learned, reflect, and once again move forward in pursuit of your goal.
Just as a river is confined by its banks, we too are confined by our habits. And just as a river has the ability to change its banks over time, we also have the ability to change our habits through consistent and persistent effort. Before you know it, you have changed your “riverbanks,” and the thought of returning to your old rituals or lifestyle is no longer an option.
On a final note, if you have set a goal and, upon reaching it, you are not fundamentally changed in some way, that goal was probably not the final goal. As long as we are drawing a breath, we should be striving to reach new goals. Within the constant pursuit of improvement, as we battle against complacency, always remember to find contentment in the moment. Good luck!
